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For a limited time only, approximately until the year 2050 or at
least until someone is foolish or kindhearted enough to marry me, I’m offering women
from all over the world the opportunity of a lifetime by giving them a chance to win
a date with me. How can this possibly be you ask? How can someone as handsome,
charismatic, and intelligent as me still be unattached and single well into his
thirties? Well, if I may, let me modestly put it to you like this. Does the beauty
of the Mona Lisa only exist for one? Does the sun only shine to give life to a
few? Do the rains only nourish a small group or trio? So let it be with me as
well. Now in order for someone to even have a snowball’s chance in Antarctica of
winning a date with me, they must first qualify and be eligible under the strict
guidelines of being a female at least eighteen years of age and breathing, no
exceptions!
least until someone is foolish or kindhearted enough to marry me, I’m offering women
from all over the world the opportunity of a lifetime by giving them a chance to win
a date with me. How can this possibly be you ask? How can someone as handsome,
charismatic, and intelligent as me still be unattached and single well into his
thirties? Well, if I may, let me modestly put it to you like this. Does the beauty
of the Mona Lisa only exist for one? Does the sun only shine to give life to a
few? Do the rains only nourish a small group or trio? So let it be with me as
well. Now in order for someone to even have a snowball’s chance in Antarctica of
winning a date with me, they must first qualify and be eligible under the strict
guidelines of being a female at least eighteen years of age and breathing, no
exceptions!
Winners must also assume full and total financial responsibility for
all costs in and of the date itself and agree to release Paul the Loser from any
and all liability that may or may not be the direct or indirect result of our date
including but not limited to stalking, pain and suffering, bodily injury, and or
mental anguish.
all costs in and of the date itself and agree to release Paul the Loser from any
and all liability that may or may not be the direct or indirect result of our date
including but not limited to stalking, pain and suffering, bodily injury, and or
mental anguish.
So
ladies, if all of this sounds good to you and you qualify, (And I don’t know why it
wouldn’t) please email me at, teardropsofaloser@rocketmail.com and I’ll get back
to you as soon as possible. Sending naked, partially naked, erotic, or even fully
clothed photographs of yourself will garner a faster response though is by no means
necessary.
ladies, if all of this sounds good to you and you qualify, (And I don’t know why it
wouldn’t) please email me at, teardropsofaloser@rocketmail.com and I’ll get back
to you as soon as possible. Sending naked, partially naked, erotic, or even fully
clothed photographs of yourself will garner a faster response though is by no means
necessary.
Thank you ladies and good luck to all of you!
Sincerely, Paul the Loser
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5 comments:
LOL, bloody shameless!!
and hilarious!! =D
u shd do updates of the number of emails u receive, that is if u receive any! lol.
You said "hello" to me on my pathetic blog post.
It kind of pissed me off to read a simple "hello" after my long winded rant about hating my life, friends and family...but after reading your 17 volumes of confessions I'm not that pissed off anymore....
Thought about applying for your date, but alas, I'm only nineteen, in a relationship and not financially capable of taking on that responsibility.
Thanks for saying hello, I hope you find what you're looking for.
-Cristina.
Paul, I was a little more than pissed off to get your hello on our blog. So pissed off in fact that I marked your location and took a budget check on how much it would cost me to come and pay you a not so friendly visit to you in Elgin, Illinois. So, if I see any comments from you on my families blog again, count yourself numbered.....From a very upset and outraged husband....
LOL...no, I wasn't pissed off at your "hello"
Everybody's looking for something out there...
For me, all I can say is...keep looking...but dont look TOO hard coz you might scare it away... :P
"Kevin" needs to chill out. Holy cow. If you choose to make your "families" (By the way, Kevin, it's "family's")blog public, then you shouldn't be so outraged to get comments from strangers.
Anyway, thanks for stopping by my blog, Paul. I have read through some of your various postings, and I am repeatedly entertained.
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