Thursday, October 16, 2008

PRINCE CHARMING HAS ARRIVED





For a limited time only, approximately until the year 2050 or at

least until someone is foolish or kindhearted enough to marry me, I’m offering women

from all over the world the opportunity of a lifetime by giving them a chance to win

a date with me. How can this possibly be you ask? How can someone as handsome,

charismatic, and intelligent as me still be unattached and single well into his

thirties? Well, if I may, let me modestly put it to you like this. Does the beauty

of the Mona Lisa only exist for one? Does the sun only shine to give life to a

few? Do the rains only nourish a small group or trio? So let it be with me as

well. Now in order for someone to even have a snowball’s chance in Antarctica of

winning a date with me, they must first qualify and be eligible under the strict

guidelines of being a female at least eighteen years of age and breathing, no

exceptions!




Winners must also assume full and total financial responsibility for

all costs in and of the date itself and agree to release Paul the Loser from any

and all liability that may or may not be the direct or indirect result of our date

including but not limited to stalking, pain and suffering, bodily injury, and or

mental anguish.




So

ladies, if all of this sounds good to you and you qualify, (And I don’t know why it

wouldn’t) please email me at, teardropsofaloser@rocketmail.com and I’ll get back

to you as soon as possible. Sending naked, partially naked, erotic, or even fully

clothed photographs of yourself will garner a faster response though is by no means

necessary.




Thank you ladies and good luck to all of you!




Sincerely, Paul the Loser

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL, bloody shameless!!
and hilarious!! =D
u shd do updates of the number of emails u receive, that is if u receive any! lol.

Auto de fé said...

You said "hello" to me on my pathetic blog post.
It kind of pissed me off to read a simple "hello" after my long winded rant about hating my life, friends and family...but after reading your 17 volumes of confessions I'm not that pissed off anymore....
Thought about applying for your date, but alas, I'm only nineteen, in a relationship and not financially capable of taking on that responsibility.

Thanks for saying hello, I hope you find what you're looking for.

-Cristina.

Stephens 8 said...

Paul, I was a little more than pissed off to get your hello on our blog. So pissed off in fact that I marked your location and took a budget check on how much it would cost me to come and pay you a not so friendly visit to you in Elgin, Illinois. So, if I see any comments from you on my families blog again, count yourself numbered.....From a very upset and outraged husband....

~Bluey said...

LOL...no, I wasn't pissed off at your "hello"
Everybody's looking for something out there...
For me, all I can say is...keep looking...but dont look TOO hard coz you might scare it away... :P

JoJo said...

Golly, from these comments it seems you have a "way with people" LOL... Well, your Happy Halloween didn't piss me off - even though it was posted on a "remembrance" post....

Happy Halloween and good luck staying out of trouble.... LOL

JoJo said...

No problem, thanks & same to you :)

Angela said...

"Kevin" needs to chill out. Holy cow. If you choose to make your "families" (By the way, Kevin, it's "family's")blog public, then you shouldn't be so outraged to get comments from strangers.

Anyway, thanks for stopping by my blog, Paul. I have read through some of your various postings, and I am repeatedly entertained.